Imagine, just imagine that you are here as a choice. That somewhere at some point before birth you so loved World that you poured yourself into it as the healing balm- as the descending and receptive grace. As the spirit, not just waking up from the World but graciously pouring itself back into the World- back into form- back into humanity as means to redeem it. To bring it to wholeness- to reveal the hidden completeness, the divinity within the disaster. IMAGINE for just a moment that THAT was your founding story. That THAT was the orientation of your life. ~ Adayashanti
Well, we all have a story don’t we? And if you sit and talk with most human beings their story will be filled with many moments of “I am this way because of (insert emotional event here)”. What you come to realize is that after you tell your story- NO THING changes in your life. In fact, the more you repeat your story and try to derive your energy and power from that story the more it becomes entrapped in your body. It is true that our life events greatly influence how we operate as we are experiential beings. It is also true that your traumas and triumphs are real and the pain and pleasure from them is real. But what is not true is that they define who you are. They are only events that are locked into your body and looped into self destructive patterning in your mind by emotion and memory.
We come into this human existence with some influence of pains, traumas and memories stored in the DNA (or epigenetic DNA) banks of our lineage. But we also come in as a blank slate of wonder and love open to the imprints of everything we see, taste, touch and dream. That blank slate is always there underneath the script of those past pains and traumas ready for the wonder of your life to be remembered. This remembrance of your true nature will slowly erase these stories of pain from your original slate. It doesn’t make them not so and it doesn’t make you forget. But the remembrance gently unwinds how they affect your body and the entrapment of your mind. How do we remember? We return to the greatest gift. We return to what is real and palpable and has been with you in every single moment of this beautiful life. We return to the body. We return to the breath. We return to Life.
The body is the ultimate story keeper- a sacred novel of events from this life and lives past. The body’s resilience I bow to as it constantly balances incoming messages from all that we throw at it physically and emotionally. Yet, we overlook our own role in how we affect our body as we constantly, subconsciously attack it. We look at it as something to constantly “fix” when in actuality it is trying to “fix” us. We are so disillusioned and distracted by our mind and the stories it has on repeat- we have become so numb to ourselves, that we cannot hear the healing messages clearly. In fact we label our discomforts as disease and turn to outside sources to alleviate our discomfort; again creating a story of pain, further confusing the body- furthering our pain. We rarely stop, sit, get quiet and centered and ask the source- our body- “what’s wrong? why do you hurt? how can I help?”.
The physical body was designed to transmute pain, pleasure, stress and illness to keep us in harmony (it really likes harmony). It was designed to “let go” through breath, tears, mucus, bowel elimination, sweat, orgasm, laughter, movement, sleep, birth, blood and death. It does not want to hold on to pain and only responds in contraction, disease and discomfort when we close the gates of release and fear the “letting go”. Letting go for most means weakness. Letting go for most feels frightening as we don’t know if the dam will break and drown us. Letting go means work. And letting go means meeting that place in yourself- that has always been there- that “knows”; the inner wisdom that runs the script of self love in the back of your heart but you ignore.
As we unravel our stories our emotional and physical sensations can become intensified. Many of us have been so removed from our bodies that coming back into the body can actually be a very startling and uncomfortable experience. Those places in your body that held your false beliefs around who you are, and kept you living in excuses empty out. That emptiness can feel so very uneasy. The emptiness is a void of nothingness and as humans we are terrified of emptiness and of being no-thing. We must have stories and identity and many many thoughts to distract us from being really quiet and intimate with ourselves. Becoming intimate with ourselves means we must become honest with ourselves. Self honesty often needs some reflection and witness in order for the wheels of truth to begin to turn. The mirror provides some light reflection as we go into the mysteries of our dark corners. The witness provides safety as our precious body must feel safe in order to explore and release. This is the foundation of my practice- to be mirror and witness for your journey…
Yes, I have a story. I have seen some very dark places. I struggle with what you struggle with. I experience pain in my body. I feel dark and alone at times. I can easily allow my mind to go into the depths of these places and spin a web of misery for myself. But as I return to the present moment and my body, I am no longer in a state of delusion that believes my gifts, passion and identity rise from the stories I have told. I have come to a place in my own journey where I know that the stories of pain that I used to tell only keep me stuck in a loop of pain, depression and separation from the healing grace of spirit and life force that is always ready to move into and through me when I let go. (Many of my “stories” you will find wound into the blogs, poems and writings in this site.)
I am a daughter, a sister, a lover, a simple woman and a divine goddess. I sing with the plants and I run with the wolves. Strip me of all of identity and I am only a simple human; I am love. I am thankful for my life and that I have privilege to explore my heart and the mysteries of my body. This is not an easy path and I honor the courage it takes for you to explore your own healing, stories and self truths. Our journey together will take the forms most guided by you, your body’s needs and your spirit’s cries. This is why I do not define what I do as I weave in all of what has transformed me, all I have learned and all I am guided to do by my own spirits.
Your body, as I said, holds your stories. I hold the space for you to connect your stories to those parts of your body where life force has been locked.
Jamie Lashbrook ~ LMP, CHHC